the wonderful jill told me about this:: http://www.arthousecoop.com/projects/sketchbookproject
it’s a huge collaboration. these nice people send you a lil sketchbook to fill with imagination scraps. they also give you a theme for your imagination scraps. i could not decide on a theme so i had them decide for me and they decided to give me nightmares. after all the pages are filled you send the sketchbook back to these nice people and they take it around the country with a bunch of other people’s imagination scraps. here’s how it goes::
[origins of nightmare.]
[good morning. today we will trace origins of nightmare. we’ll start with the cazlattix. //
cazlattix specimen #9. physical properties::subjective.
note: this is merely an artist’s rendering inspired by personal experience. appearance is likely to change as we spiral our way through this explanation. try not to let this artist’s interpretation interfere with your own artist’s interpretation.]
[cazlattix specimen #93.//
the cazlattix will vary greatly from person to person, moment to moment. but we have yet to encounter a single human without some sort of cazlattixperience stashed somewhere in their memories though they might give it a different name or may not have a name for it at all because once you give a thing a name it becomes real. but what these people haven’t yet realized and might not ever realize [which would be quite unfortunate if that is the case] is that once you give something a name it becomes much easier to talk about and maybe at first talking about it really isn’t easy at all. maybe easy is the wrong word or not the most right word. words are tricky so a lot of people choose other ways to talk about such things, pictures or movements or sounds. that is more than ok in fact. just as long as we all figure out some way to show each other the cazlattix in our selves. once they’ve been spotted, they don’t seem to do much more damage. ]
[visible examples of the effects of an unnamed cazlattix. rare and extreme. most cazlattix damage manifests itself in human relationships, both self and other.]
[the cazlattix is often characterized by one or more exaggerated features which are generally a reflection of the host’s thought shadows. we don’t usually think of thoughts as having shadows or as shadows as having reflections. the cazlattix uses this to its advantage.]
[for example. should host be terrified at the thought of human eye contact lest he experience a hidden aspect of himself within the other, large gaping eyes may become manifest in the cazlattix. as you may have guessed, these large gaping eyes are quite common in the cazlattix population.]
[things aren’t always so complicated. in some cases, the cazlattix may actually help the host.
a fear of spiders will nest in the primal parts of the brain, in an area that might be difficult to examine as it is often webbed in by years and years of human experience. after confronting a spider cazlattix, the host may no longer have a problem with any real world spider since the spider cazlattix is much scarier than any spider you might meet in the real world. but then other times the cazlattix will have the opposite effect. it really just depends on the host.]
[if the host has a fear of loneliness the cazlattix may be nothing. just a sticky void that swallows the host in a single wet gulp. this is a dangerous variety. once she allows the cazlattix to become larger than herself, the host has little hope. it will simply down her like so many anxiety pills.]
[falling. there’s another big one.
the falling cazlattix is very similar to the loneliness cazlattix. but rather than surrounding the host with nothing, the falling cazlattix becomes nothing beneath the host. which can be more frightening than complete nothing. when one is surrounded by nothing, there is nothing to fall away from.]
[the ambiguous nature of the cazlattix makes it quite difficult to handle. how does one defeat nothing? (1/0=?)
or perhaps your cazlattix is an oversized rainbow possum. what then?
the real world does not prepare us for such battles.
so what do we do?]
[communicate. collaboration. (FRIENDS!)
if one human has an oversized possum fear, chances are there’s another human out there that can relate. and has figured out a different method for coping.
and if 2 methods are applied to 1 problem, the problem only stands 1/2 the chance.]
[so unite 10 people with a common cazlattix and the little bugger is suddenly 10 x’s easier to handle.
humans tend to form some pretty sturdy bonds this way.]
[then they go in different directions
and s-t-r-e-t-c-h those connections.]
[and this happens again and again.
all over the place.]
[so eventually things end up looking sort of like this.]
[then the wind blows. and makes all of these —>
wiggle back and forth. so things start looking a little more like this:
an environment like this one doesn’t tend to support many cazlattixes. it makes them very uncomfortable.]
[it seems that humans are likely to ally when battling a common enemy. which is one possible origin of the nightmare: once we manifest the enemy outside our selves, it’s easier to gather others to help us fight it. ]
[unfortunately, this becomes a rather dangerous cazlattix in itself. when we forget how to connect with our Self and each other in positive ways, these cazlattixes will just start popping up everywhere. especially in other humans.
so then we end up battling other humans in attempt to connect with other humans. a nasty paradox indeed. these battles are often very subtle: dividing into groups and pointing out all the things that are wrong with THOSE humans*. ‘jokingly’ putting down a friend.… (*bros are people too.)]
[subtlety. a cazlattix prides itself in its ability to slip beneath our radar. it used to require much more effort on the part of the cazlattix. but this population of drugged up, plugged in, desensitized, BUSYbusybusy people makes for a prime cazlattix breeding ground.
note: brain drugs aren’t bad in all situations)]
[on the reverse side.* this also means that the cazlattix is getting lazy. perhaps this is how it’s supposed to happen. let’s give the humans some credit. maybe we’ve been lulling the cazlattix population into a false sense of security for the past hundred or so years.
so. humans. NOW must be the time.
(*the reverse side also has a reverse side. –japanese proverb)**
(** also in a poem by stephen dunn. it’s good.)]
[DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING.
[this is the first step. scary, yes. like playing dead if you run across an angry grizzly. which might not be a very good idea.]
[but when it comes to the cazlattix, this lack of movement is in fact a good idea. you may have to stare it down, but your stillness will confuse the demon. it’s used to preying on distracted souls. the little brute has a hard time causing any damage if you sit nose to nose with it. in fact, such a simple act is likely to send it scurrying into the underbrush.]
a continuation! for the rest you can go here: http://sunpuddle.com/cazlattix/
[but he’s not about to stay there. no, the cazlattix will come back.
but next time, he’ll look a little more like this.
(which is really a more accurate rendering. we tend to imagine the cazlattix to be scarier than it actually is.)
much easier to handle.
a creature like this
you might even show to your friends.]
[now all of this talk has probably given you a pretty nasty impression of the cazlattix. and with good reason. it is the source of nightmares. [but what’s the origin of the cazlattix?!! good question. maybe we’ll get to that later.] and most people aren’t particularly fond of nightmares. but for some people, nightmares get them through the day. they might despise their waking realities. but the nightmares let them know how much worse it could be. ]
[but the cazlattix can be benificial even for those in love with their realities. with proper persistent patient training, the cazlattix is capable of anything within the borders of the host’s imagination. what’s difficult for many humans to realize is the borderless nature of their imaginations.]
[for these humans, the cazlattix manifests itself as a border.]
[or, once their imagination scraps drift to a certain point, the cazlattix collects them as kindling for its campfires. (kindling reads: great ideas that could have been turned into great things.)]
[the host then begins wrapping his scraps tighter and tighter around himself for fear of being burned. but living becomes rather difficult when one is buried under a pile of imagination scraps.]
[the hosts’ reasoning capacity drops drastically beneath a pile of imagination scraps.
often, he will attempt to set them on fire in effort to escape.]
[or, if he hasn’t lost all sense of reason, he might decide to lay low for a while.
though these scraps can get quite heavy, the host can get by if he makes very little movement, puts very little effort into his days.]
[after a while, the imagination scraps will start dissolving and the host can begin to function again.]
[maybe he has learned from the experience and next time will find useful places to put these imagination scraps before they start suffocating him.
which will stave off this particular cazlattix completely. if these scraps are occupied in other media, the cazlattix has no use for them.]
[so. we’ve dealt with various varieties of the cazlattix. addressed some preventative measures. but.
where does it come from in the first place? ]
[every cazlattix can be traced back to a common desire: separation. ]
[in order to be different, we decide that some things are good and some things are bad.
which isn’t really true. things are things.
once we decide something is bad, we want no part of it.–]
[we want to pretend it isn’t part of us. in doing so, we inadvertently create a cazlattix. and over the years, we feed him with everything else we try to pretend isn’t a part of us. ]
[so starve the critters! show your beast! these demons will shrivel in the light of day! speak about them honestly! you’ll scare some people at first, but that fear is just the cazlattix stirring within themselves.
keep bringing it out and eventually]
[it’ll go away.]
these last few pages contain examples of the effects of the cazlattix on various subjects.
[thanks to inge chiles, ryan fitzpatrick, juard van dijkhorst, jillian brinkman, hiram mesa, kimmy walters, emily walters, brandon rice, whoever else contributed when my back was turned, and whoever else has contributed in some way to my nightmares.]
-facebook takes over the world
-jurassic park was never made
-i didn’t happen to be at the shelter when my dog was there that day
-we’re 11 million times more lovely when we’re not trying any funny stuff
-when you’re met with great resistance you can make the greatest difference.
-toss an orange into the blue sky
–“STUFF THAT’S TRUE” BY ME]
[“now it’s time to say goodnight
goodnight, sleep tight”
TWISTER FALLS ASLEEP….
THE HAUNTED CASTLE
[gravestones : your dog you]]
Around the world.
By unknown forces
For unknown reasons
Perhaps I’ll never know…
Where am I?
[Quit choking me]
[I was drunk one evening in the North forests….
Countless glasses of wine.
With the mensa folk.
Displaying their intellectual penises about the party
I left to take the nature in…
[Love moves away
the light changes
I need more grace
Than I thought.